Choosing to Forgive Yourself

Today I am choosing to forgive myself…

For all the decisions I made; that I thought were right at the time, but decided they became my mistakes. 

I am choosing to forgive myself for letting myself believe that I was not enough.

Choosing to forgive myself for believing that I wasted my life, time and energy for the wrong people and ambitions.

I am choosing to forgive myself for not being able to forgive the people and the happenings were part of my chosen path. 

Choosing to forgive myself for waking up every single day with things to do list and going to bed not feeling accomplished.

Choosing to forgive myself for blaming others for using their filters whilst I am still using mine.

I am choosing to forgive myself for not giving up...for the things that my gut is telling me to let go...

Choosing to forgive myself for letting my ego make me think I know too much yet not enough.

I am choosing to forgive myself for reading between the lines for what’s said and unsaid.

Choosing to forgive myself for knowing the right action to take and yet sabotaging myself by just doing the opposite. 

I am choosing to forgive myself for letting people trigger me and falling back on my old patterns that won’t serve..and for feeling far from being authentic.

Choosing to forgive myself for chasing the imperfect perfection in everything.

I am choosing to forgive myself for not ‘acting’ myself whilst I am still trying to find me.

I am choosing to forgive myself for not being kind, caring, understanding and patient enough to my loved ones and the people who were in my life at the time.

Choosing to forgive myself for rejecting the parts of me that I couldn’t accept

And today I’m choosing to forgive myself for all the things that I shall choose: to do, say, think, feel, regret, analyse and love across… time and space...

Choose to forgive yourselves...TODAY 

Bibi F l o w

The Importance of Forgiving Yourself 

“Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself as much as to anyone else.”

Forgiving others is a profound journey—one that often challenges our very core beliefs, shakes our emotions, and pushes us to confront wounds we'd rather forget. But through out my own journey I’ve noticed that a crucial aspect of the forgiveness process often gets overlooked: forgiving yourself. 

I noticed in the midst of trying to release others from their past wrongs, I particularly struggled forgiving two people in my life.

When I tuned in deeply, I had a profound realisation that the reason I wasn’t able to forgive them was because I couldn’t forgive myself in the first place for allowing them into my life.

Understanding that there were no mistakes, only what I call 'growth experiences,' I re-watched my own movie through new lenses. It changed everything.

Why Self-Forgiveness Matters

Beneath  our hurt often lies a silent blame that we direct toward ourselves. Perhaps we feel we should have acted differently, been stronger, or recognised the warning signs sooner. These self-judgments keep us trapped in cycles of pain, shame and regret, which can make true forgiveness of others nearly impossible.

Self-forgiveness is not about excusing your actions or dismissing your miss-judgements  Rather, it's about allowing yourself to be human—vulnerable, imperfect, and beautifully flawed. It’s about releasing the unrealistic expectations you might have set for yourself and understanding that, just like everyone else, you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.

How Self-Forgiveness and Forgiving Others Go Hand in Hand

Forgiving someone else without forgiving yourself can lead to an incomplete sense of closure. Imagine holding onto blame for how you allowed someone into your life or how you let a situation linger. You may forgive the other person for their actions, but if you’re still blaming yourself, you’re holding onto a burden that weighs just as heavily as the initial wound.

Self-forgiveness works alongside forgiving others to complete the healing process. When you forgive yourself, you allow compassion and understanding to enter the picture. Suddenly, your forgiveness towards others is no longer an obligation or a forced gesture—it becomes an authentic release because you’ve started to understand the real complexities of human experience, including your own. 

Steps to Begin Forgiving Yourself

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment
   Start by acknowledging the emotions you have been carrying. Maybe it's guilt, regret or shame. Allow these feelings to surface without immediately judging them. This non-judgmental acknowledgment is the first step in letting go.

2. Understand Your Own Story
   Look back with curiosity, not blame. Ask yourself: what did you know then? What was your emotional state? This step isn't about justifying behaviour but rather about understanding why things happened as they did. You may realise that you were doing what you believed was best at the time.

3. Speak to Yourself as You Would to a Loved One
   We are often far harsher to ourselves than we would ever be to a friend. Imagine a loved one telling you the same story—how would you respond? It’s time to extend that same gentle compassion inward.

4. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
   Perfection is an illusion and clinging to it only creates suffering. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Let go of the idea that you "should have known better" or "could have done more." You are human and that means sometimes taking steps that  may not meet your future satisfaction…

Moving Forward with Grace

Forgiveness is a journey that requires patience, gentleness and courage. As you work on forgiving others, remember to be your own source of compassion. Embrace the moments where you feel weak, vulnerable or disappointed in yourself. These are precisely the moments where self-forgiveness is most needed.

It’s okay to miss-judge . It’s okay to be imperfect. And it’s okay to forgive yourself for the times when you didn’t know how to act or what to do. When you start to forgive yourself, you will find that the process of forgiving others becomes less about a gesture of release and more about an act of love.

Forgiving yourself is the true key to freedom, a gentle release that allows you to truly step into your power, free of the chains of past mistakes. In the end, forgiveness is not just about what you let go of—it's about what you gain back: your peace, your power, and your capacity for love.

With Joy & Light

Bibi F l o w