What Have Your Past and Current Relationships Been Mirroring Back at You?
Could this be the ultimate purpose of having relationships in our lives: reflection through connection, revealing who we are and where we need to grow?
When you are at peace within relationships, being in the right relationship becomes a space of growth rather than a place of seeking validation. Being your whole self without sacrificing parts of you to fit in is what makes you truly you. A fulfilling relationship isn't just about being loved; it's about being seen, heard, understood, appreciated, supported and respected while continuing to heal and evolve both individually and as partners.
Yet many find themselves with a growing list of red flags after failed relationships. They think the key to avoiding heartbreak is to spot the warning signs; to be on guard against attracting the "wrong" person again. But in doing so they unknowingly keep repeating the same patterns not because they missed the signs but because they haven't addressed the deeper dynamics at play.
The Mirror Effect in Relationships
Relationships are reflections. The people we attract; especially those who trigger us, are mirrors, showing us where we still need to heal by poking our wounds.
You might ask, "How?" Think about this: how would you know if something was wrong with your body deep down if it didn't give you a sign of discomfort or pain? Because of that, you pay attention, get it checked and do something about it to get better. right? The same principle applies to emotional issues. How would you know where you need to heal and grow if those people didn't poke you and cause you pain? But get one thing straight they are not the source of that pain.
Your wounds existed long before they came into your life, often formed between the ages of 0-7 embedded deep in the subconscious during earlier childhood along with ancestral issues that have been passed down through generations and karmic lives.
The people you attract match these wounds perfectly; not as a punishment but as a divine opportunity for growth.
The discomfort they trigger isn't meant to break you, it's meant to wake you up.
The Power of Taking Responsibility
Growth isn't about hoping others change so you can feel better; it's about taking responsibility for your own healing. Blaming others keeps you trapped in the same cycles. True transformation begins when you ask "What is the growth opportunity in this situation?"
At more than one point in my journey, I found myself deeply hurt in relationships but particularly in one of them; I was constantly being triggered and felt unsafe, unappreciated, unheard, unloved and misunderstood. I blamed him for not making me feel safe, loved and appreciated but in fact, I was demanding from him what I hadn't yet fully given myself. I liked being me and was aware of my qualities but I lacked full self-appreciation, a deeper level of self-love and healthy boundaries. When he crossed a line, I blamed him yet I had never truly defined that line for myself.
The Unfolding and Rebirth
That relationship cracked me open but it also led me to deep transformation, which I am so grateful for. I had to meet myself at my rawest, un-become all that no longer served me and realign with my deepest truth.
Through that process I not only discovered myself; I went beyond the victimhood story that so many of us unconsciously carry and beyond the illusion of separate-self in human story. The result? A life lived through authentic presence with more clarity, peace and joy rather than one dictated by unhealed wounds
and reactive conditioning.
So, I leave you with this question for reflection: What have your current and past relationships been mirroring back at you?
Take a moment. Breathe. And let the answer arise from within 🙏
Bibi Flow